Your friend gets the opportunity you have been praying for. Someone your age starts a successful business. A classmate performs better than you in an examination, or another person receives the attention and recognition you wish you had.
Instead of feeling happy for them, you feel uncomfortable.
You begin asking yourself, “Why them and not me?”
You may even find yourself hoping that their success will not last.
If you have experienced these feelings, it is important to address them before they affect your heart and your relationships.
LEARN TO DISTINGUISH ENVY FROM ADMIRATION
Allah says:
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.”
Qur’an 4:32 — translation of the meaning.
This verse reminds us not to become consumed by wishing we had what others have. Instead, we should ask Allah for His bounty.
There is a difference between admiring someone’s blessing and wanting it taken away from them.
You can admire a friend’s achievements and ask Allah to grant you success too. You can be inspired by another person’s progress without treating their happiness as a threat to yours.
Envy becomes especially dangerous when you begin resenting another person’s blessings or wishing for them to lose what Allah has given them.
REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE HAS A DIFFERENT JOURNEY
Social media often makes comparison worse.
You see someone travelling, graduating, getting married, buying a car or achieving a major goal. You may begin to believe that your own life is unsuccessful because you have not reached the same point.
But you are comparing your everyday reality with selected moments from someone else’s life.
You do not know every challenge they have faced, and you cannot judge your entire future by what you see today.
Another person’s success does not mean that Allah has forgotten you. Their opportunity does not prove that your own opportunities have ended.
Make effort towards your goals without turning another person’s progress into a reason to hate your own life.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO WHEN ENVY APPEARS?
1. Acknowledge the feeling.
Do not pretend that you never experience jealousy. Recognise it and work on responding to it in a way that pleases Allah.
2. Make du’a for the person.
Ask Allah to bless them in what is good. This can help you resist the urge to resent their success.
3. Ask Allah for your own needs.
The Qur’an reminds us to ask Allah for His bounty. Tell Allah what you hope for and take practical steps towards your goals.
4. Practise gratitude.
Think about the blessings already present in your life. Gratitude does not mean abandoning your ambitions; it means pursuing them without becoming blind to what you have.
5. Learn from others instead of competing destructively.
If someone is doing well in an area you care about, consider what useful lessons you can learn from their experience.
DO NOT ALLOW ENVY TO DAMAGE YOUR CHARACTER
Envy may lead a person to gossip, spread rumours, belittle another person’s achievements or secretly celebrate their failures.
Be careful not to let your feelings turn into harmful actions.
You can acknowledge that someone has something you desire without treating them unfairly. You can work hard for your own goals while respecting their achievements.
And when you fall short, remember that your value is not determined by being better than everyone around you.
HEART CHECK
Someone else’s blessing is not evidence that you have been denied every good thing.
Celebrate what is good, work towards your goals and ask Allah for His bounty. Your journey does not have to look like anyone else’s.
Instead of asking, “Why do they have it?” try asking, “O Allah, bless them in what is good, and grant me what is best for me.”
REFLECTION: When someone you know succeeds, do you feel inspired to improve yourself, or do you find yourself wishing they had less?
DU’A: O Allah, purify my heart from harmful envy, bless others in their good and grant me from Your bounty what is best for my deen and my life. Make me grateful for what I have and patient with what I am still waiting for. Ameen.
3SIXTYISLAM
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