Growing up comes with challenges that are not always easy to explain. You may be struggling with school, financial pressure, career uncertainty, friendships, marriage expectations, or the emotional weight of trying to build a better future.
Sometimes, the people you hope will understand you most are the very people who seem unable to see what you are going through.
You try to explain yourself, but the conversation becomes an argument. You want them to listen, but they think you are being disrespectful. You want to make certain decisions, but they do not understand your reasons.
For a young Muslim, this situation can be especially difficult because Islam places great importance on respecting parents.
So, how can you handle these struggles while remaining faithful to your Islamic values?
ISLAM TEACHES US TO TREAT OUR PARENTS WITH KINDNESS
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents…” (Qur’an 31:14, part of the verse).
The Qur’an also teaches us to maintain good companionship with our parents, even when we cannot obey them in matters that conflict with Allah’s commands (Qur’an 31:15).
These teachings establish an important principle: kindness and respect towards parents remain important, but obedience to parents does not mean following every instruction without exception.
A Muslim should speak respectfully, avoid unnecessary insults, and recognise the sacrifices parents may have made.
However, respect does not require you to pretend that every situation is easy or that your feelings do not matter.
LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITHOUT DISRESPECT
When emotions are high, even a reasonable conversation can quickly turn into an argument.
Instead of trying to explain everything when you are angry, wait for a calmer moment.
Speak clearly about what you are experiencing. Rather than saying, “You never understand me,” you might explain, “I know you want what is best for me, but I am finding this situation difficult, and I would appreciate it if you could listen to my concerns.”
This approach does not guarantee that your parents will agree with you, but it gives the conversation a better chance of remaining respectful.
Listen to their concerns too. They may have fears or experiences that influence their decisions, even when you disagree with their conclusions.
You can acknowledge their concerns without pretending to agree with everything they say.
WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS DISAGREE WITH YOUR CHOICES?
As you grow older, you may begin making decisions about education, career, marriage, and other important matters.
Your parents may have expectations that differ from your own.
When this happens, try to understand the reasons behind their position. Explain your plans and show that you have considered the consequences.
Where appropriate, seek advice from a trustworthy person who can help both sides communicate more effectively.
Remember that not every disagreement is a sign of hatred or a lack of love. Sometimes, families struggle to understand one another because of different expectations, experiences, or communication styles.
However, if a disagreement involves coercion, threats, or abuse, seek appropriate support from a safe and trustworthy person. Respect for parents does not mean you must remain silent about serious harm.
YOU CAN SEEK ALLAH’S HELP
Sometimes, you may have explained yourself repeatedly without seeing any change.
In such moments, turn to Allah.
Ask Him to soften hearts, guide your family, improve your own character, and make difficult conversations easier.
Make du’a for your parents, even when you feel hurt. At the same time, ask Allah to give you wisdom, patience, and the ability to make sound decisions.
You can also work on becoming more responsible in your own life. Keep your commitments, fulfil your duties, and demonstrate maturity through your actions.
Consistent responsibility may help your parents understand your perspective, even if it does not immediately resolve every disagreement.
HEART CHECK
Dear young Muslim, it can be painful when your parents do not understand what you are going through.
But do not allow frustration to turn into cruelty, insults, or unnecessary conflict.
Continue to treat them with kindness, communicate honestly, and seek guidance when you need it.
You can respect your parents while acknowledging that certain situations are difficult for you. You can seek their advice while taking appropriate responsibility for your decisions.
May Allah guide our parents and children, improve communication within our families, and fill our homes with mercy, understanding, and tranquillity. Ameen.
3SIXTYISLAM
At 3SixtyIslam, we believe Islamic knowledge should reach every generation. From Hajj and Umrah guidance to practical Islamic lessons for everyday life, our goal is to help Muslims learn, grow and strengthen their connection with Islam.
Follow 3SixtyIslam for more Islamic knowledge, guidance and inspiring stories for the whole family.
