Every parent wants their child to grow into a good person. We want them to be respectful, confident, hardworking, compassionate and successful. We want them to have good friends, make wise decisions and become Muslims who are proud of their faith.
But there is another question we sometimes overlook:
Who does your child actually want to become?
Children naturally look for people to admire. They notice the footballer who scores the winning goal, the musician whose songs everyone knows, the influencer with millions of followers, the celebrity whose lifestyle appears exciting, and the person who seems to have everything.
The problem is not that children have role models.
The question is whether we are helping them choose the right ones.
In Islam, character matters more than popularity. A person’s value is not determined by followers, wealth, fame, appearance or social status. What matters is faith, character, sincerity, knowledge, courage and the way a person lives for Allah.
That is why raising Muslim children is not simply about telling them what is right and wrong. It is also about giving them people worth looking up to.
CHILDREN NEED PEOPLE THEY CAN ADMIRE
Children learn through observation.
They listen to what we tell them, but they also watch what we do. They notice who we celebrate, who we talk about and whose achievements we consider impressive.
If every conversation at home is about celebrities, athletes, wealthy people and social media personalities, children will naturally begin to measure success by the same standards.
But imagine if your child regularly heard stories about the Prophets, the Companions, great Muslim scholars, courageous Muslim women and men who sacrificed for their faith.
Imagine if they learned that being knowledgeable can be impressive.
That standing for the truth can be impressive.
That being kind can be impressive.
That controlling your anger can be impressive.
That praying consistently can be impressive.
That helping others without seeking recognition can be impressive.
That sacrificing something for the sake of Allah can be impressive.
That changes what a child learns to admire.
START WITH THE GREATEST ROLE MODEL: THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD (SAW)
For Muslim children, the greatest role model is not a celebrity or public figure.
It is the Messenger of Allah (SAW)
Allah says:
“Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example.”
Qur’an 33:21
Children should know Muhammad (SAW) not merely as the person who brought Islam, but as a person whose character they can understand and imitate.
Tell them about his mercy.
Tell them about his patience.
Tell them about his courage.
Tell them about how he treated children.
Tell them about his kindness to those who served him.
Tell them about how he forgave.
Tell them about his humility.
Tell them about his concern for his Ummah.
When children become familiar with his character, the Sunnah becomes more than a list of actions. It becomes a way of life.
TELL THEM STORIES ABOUT THE YOUNG COMPANIONS
One of the most powerful ways to inspire children is through stories.
Children may forget a lecture, but they often remember a story.
Tell them about young Muslims who lived with courage, knowledge and purpose.
Tell them about Usamah ibn Zayd رضي الله عنه, who was given significant responsibility despite his young age.
Tell them about Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهما, who became one of the great scholars of Islam.
Tell them about Ali ibn Abi Talib رضي الله عنه and his courage.
Tell them about Mus’ab ibn Umair رضي الله عنه and how he chose Islam over the comfort and luxury he had known.
Tell them about Aisha رضي الله عنها and her remarkable knowledge.
These were not people who waited until they were old before becoming useful.
They understood that youth was not an excuse to live without purpose.
Your child needs to know that being young does not mean being insignificant.
TEACH THEM TO LOOK BEYOND FAME
One of the biggest challenges facing Muslim parents today is the sheer amount of content children consume.
A child can spend hours watching someone online without ever knowing whether that person’s character deserves admiration.
Popularity can create the illusion of greatness.
But Islam teaches us to look deeper.
Ask your child:
What makes someone successful?
Is it having millions of followers?
Is it expensive clothing?
Is it being famous?
Is it having a beautiful house?
Or is success ultimately connected to pleasing Allah?
These conversations matter.
We should teach children that someone can be famous and still be a poor role model.
And someone can be unknown to the world but incredibly valuable in the sight of Allah.
That is an important lesson for a young Muslim to learn.
DON’T JUST TELL CHILDREN WHO TO ADMIRE — TEACH THEM WHY
Simply saying, “Don’t follow celebrities,” is not enough.
Children need an alternative.
They need to understand what makes a person worthy of admiration.
Teach them to look for qualities such as:
Faith.Good, character, Honesty, Courage, Fear of Allah,Respect for parents many more.
When children learn to recognise these qualities, they become better at evaluating the people they see around them.
They stop asking only, “Is this person popular?”
They begin asking, “Is this person worth becoming like?”
That is a much more important question.
YOUR CHILDREN ARE WATCHING YOU TOO
There is something parents must never forget.
Before your child chooses an influencer, athlete, celebrity or public figure as a role model, they are already watching you.
How do you speak to people?
How do you treat your spouse?
How do you respond when you are angry?
How do you behave when nobody is watching?
How do you speak about other people?
How do you treat the poor?
How seriously do you take Salah?
How do you respond when something does not go your way?
Children learn far more from our behaviour than our instructions.
You can tell your child to respect people while constantly disrespecting others.
You can tell them to control their anger while they regularly watch you lose yours.
You can tell them that Salah is important while they see you constantly postpone yours.
Children notice these contradictions.
If we want children to admire good character, we have to make good character visible in our homes.
MAKE ISLAMIC STORIES PART OF FAMILY LIFE
We should not wait until children are struggling before introducing them to Islamic role models.
Make these stories part of everyday family life.
A bedtime story can be about a Prophet.
A weekend discussion can be about a Companion.
A family meal can become an opportunity to discuss an Islamic personality.
When your child asks about courage, tell them about someone who demonstrated courage.
When they ask about generosity, tell them about someone who gave.
When they struggle with patience, remind them of people who remained patient through much greater difficulties.
This is how Islamic history becomes personal.
The goal is not for children to memorise hundreds of names.
The goal is for them to discover people whose qualities they want to carry into their own lives.
LET YOUR CHILD HAVE ROLE MODELS THEY CAN RELATE TO
Not every role model has to be from the distant past.
Children can also learn from trustworthy teachers, scholars, community leaders, educators, family members and other Muslims who demonstrate excellent character.
If your child meets someone who is knowledgeable, humble and kind, point it out.
“Did you notice how he spoke to everyone?”
“Did you notice how she helped that person?”
“Did you notice how patient he was?”
Teach your child to notice character.
Because once they learn to recognise good character, they can begin developing it themselves.
DON’T MAKE ROLE MODELS ABOUT PERFECTION
There is also an important balance.
Our children should understand that human beings are not perfect.
The Prophets have a unique status, and the Companions were exceptional generations, but ordinary people will have strengths and weaknesses.
We should not teach children to blindly idolise anyone.
Instead, teach them to appreciate good qualities while understanding that ultimate perfection belongs to Allah.
A person may be excellent in one area and weak in another.
The lesson is not, “Become exactly like this person.”
The lesson is, “What good quality can I learn from this person?”
That creates mature Muslims rather than blind followers.
HELP THEM BECOME THE PERSON THEY ADMIRE
Perhaps the most beautiful part of this conversation is that children should eventually realise something:
The goal is not simply to admire good people.
The goal is to become good people.
If your child admires someone who is generous, encourage them to give.
If they admire someone who is knowledgeable, encourage them to learn.
If they admire someone who is brave, teach them to stand for what is right.
If they admire someone who has strong faith, help them strengthen their relationship with Allah.
Turn admiration into action.
Because the best role model is not the person your child talks about the most.
It is the person whose good qualities inspire your child to become better.
THE WORLD WILL GIVE YOUR CHILD ROLE MODELS — BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT WHICH ONES
Whether parents like it or not, children will have role models.
Social media will introduce them to people.
Television will introduce them to people.
School will introduce them to people.
Friends will introduce them to people.
The internet will introduce them to thousands of people.
We cannot control every person our children will encounter.
But we can give them a strong foundation.
We can teach them what true success looks like.
We can introduce them to the people Islam has given us as examples.
We can teach them to question what the world tells them to admire.
And most importantly, we can become examples worth following ourselves.
THE KIND OF CHILDREN WE SHOULD WANT TO RAISE
We should want children who are not impressed by fame alone.
Children who value knowledge.
Children who respect their parents.
Children who are comfortable saying no to what is wrong.
Children who understand that modesty is strength.
Children who know that kindness is not weakness.
Children who understand that success is not measured only by money.
Children who want to serve others.
Children who love the Messenger of Allah (SAW)
Children who know the stories of the people who came before them.
And children who understand that the ultimate goal is not to become famous in the eyes of people.
It is to become beloved to Allah.
That is the kind of ambition we should cultivate.
Because one day, our children will grow up and choose their own paths.
They will decide what kind of people they want to become.
Our responsibility is to give them the knowledge, examples and values that help them make that choice wisely.
So let us raise children who do not simply ask, “Who is famous?”
Let us raise children who ask:
“Who has good character?”
“Who has knowledge?”
“Who is courageous?”
“Who serves others?”
“Who lives for Allah?”
And most importantly:
“What kind of person do I want to become?”
That is where true Islamic upbringing begins.
Your child’s role model may be someone you have never met.
That is why the responsibility begins at home.
Introduce your children to people worth knowing before the internet introduces them to people worth questioning.
Give them stories that build character.
Give them examples that strengthen faith.
Give them conversations that teach them how to recognise real success.
And give them parents whose own lives demonstrate what they are teaching.
The world will always tell our children who they should admire.
As Muslim parents, we have to make sure they also know who is truly worth following.
At 3SixtyIslam, we believe Islamic knowledge should reach every generation. From Hajj and Umrah guidance to practical Islamic lessons for everyday life, our goal is to help Muslims learn, grow and strengthen their connection with Islam.
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